Parenting experts have long known about a common phenomenon called “after-school restraint collapse”, where kids who have held in their feelings all day at school release them by melting down at home. But did you know that this concept can apply to adults too? While adults may not throw an all-out tantrum, we may be more likely to be irritable or tense, or pick a fight with another member of our household.
If you regularly melt down after a long day, experts share ways to head off the collapse.
- Recognize when you’re white-knuckling it all day
Do you go from one task to another without pausing? To avoid an implosion, make a point of taking “microbreaks”, or brief pauses where you change location, even just to get a drink of water, during the day.
- Establish an end-of-day routine
Build in a few minutes of transition time after work. This signals to your body and brain that you’re winding down and making the shift from work to home. When you arrive home, or sign off from your home office, check in with yourself. Are you hungry? Talked out? Stiff from sitting? If you notice a pattern, establish a brief routine that feels restorative to you. That could mean taking a shower, taking the dog for a walk or listening to your favorite podcast.
- Be clear about what you need (like quiet time)
Questions place demands on us. You have to organize your thinking to respond to the question. So let family members know that you need a bit of down time with you arrive home, and would appreciate not being immediately peppered with questions. Or tell your family member that you’re happy to chat, reconnect and answer questions once you’ve taken a walk. Meltdown averted.